The killing, the crisis, the military, the unrest in Jos, the destruction of my church, the 7PM-6AM curfew, the armed robbery, the threat of being killed, the police and military checkpoints, evacuation, sicknesses, the holidays away from home and the daily pressures of trying to minister cross culturally have brought me to a point in which the honeymoon is over.
Nigeria is a wonderful place and full of kind and loving people. It seems like everyone wants to spend time with the white man and talk about the day’s events. The Nigerians are dear to my heart, these children, even more so. This has been my home for the last 7 months and will remain that way until June 2010 if the Lord permits. I’ve come to love this place and appreciate everything about it. Sure, there are things that are difficult; being away from family and familiar things while adjusting to life in Africa has been hard. There is the constant threat of disease, sickness, malaria and motor vehicle accidents. There are demands of the ministry, demands at home for a bachelor to survive and demands in the local church. There is the constant pressure of being equivalent to a celebrity simply because my skin is white and the constant pressure to make everyone happy. There are times when you want to just “go hide thyself” (as God told Elijah--- 1 Kings 17:3) and escape all of the demands and anxiety that comes with being a missionary. There are times when you want to be back home, sitting by a fire with a box of pretzels and a cold crème soda with no one to bother you and nothing to do but meditate upon the Lord. There are those days in which I look up and see an airplane and think “those are my people” and other times when I watch the sun set and think what my mother is doing right now, my professor from Bible college and of course, my siblings. Sometimes I think “right now my dad is brewing a pot of coffee and probably outside loading ladders onto his van”. There are those times and then there are these…
…no matter how difficult things get, the problems are always alleviated when I see our kids in the ministry. There is something about them, something about children that fascinates me. Maybe it is there carefree spirit or there simple faith. Maybe it is there innocence and the thought of how they got here. I’m not sure exactly what it is but, whatever it is, they make my time here worthwhile. I love to spend time with the kids, we trek, we swim, we play and we read together. I always have one of these little ones come to greet me in my room in one of the care centers. They are always at my door, always at my side, always reaching for my hand. The pressures, anxieties and demands all seem to float off into space and I find myself to be perfectly content. Sure, they are not my own, but they may as well be. There is still that longing in my heart to have my own children and to not have to say goodbye to them. There are times when I read through the scriptures and find this character that no one ever mentions and I immediately write his or her name in the back of my Bible. Why? Because I just may name my son or daughter that one day. The kids here are wonderful and I wish you all could meet these precious little children.
The honeymoon is over in one sense but a new and exciting season always seems to replace the previous one. This is Nigeria, a land of adventure and my home for at least two years.
I could use you prayers, I could use them a lot.
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