Our Day of Sadness

To my family,

Nine years seems like yesterday gone by. On this day, nine years ago, we all entered into a day of sadness that was felt in our bones and even in the deepest parts of our marrow. We can remember the day we learned of the tragedy; we can remember the sorrow, the hurt, the pain and the confusion. For me, these last nine years have been full of all sorts of things, new beginnings, and different seasons of my life full of sorrows, joys, and challenges. There have been times when I cried, times when I laughed, times when I mourned and times when I rejoiced. I’ve had many dreams, many memories, and many longings to see him again. I’ve had times when I cried myself to sleep and times when I laughed as I remembered something he did or said. There have been times when I felt the feelings of my family, their sadness, their joys and their memories.

I can remember writing his name on my track shoes to think of him before every attempt at my events. I can remember finding one of his old shirts or jackets and putting it to my nose to grab some sort of memory of him, something to savor for a second, some thing that brought him back again. I still find times when I smell the fragrance of his cologne or the hair gel that he wore. Everything seems to bring some memory of him back again but it doesn’t bring him back.

Today marks the nine year anniversary of our great day of sadness. On this day, nine years ago, we lost our brother, our son, our cousin, our grandson.

We lost Ricky.

He Giveth More Grace
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mercy;
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limit; His grace has no measure.
His pow'r has no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again!

As for God, His way is perfect...Psalm 18:30